Getting Rid of Matthew - Jane Fallon

When Matthew, Helen’s lover of the past four years, finally decides to leave his wife Sophie (and their two daughters) and move into Helen’s flat, she should be over the moon. The only trouble is, she doesn’t want him any more. Now she has to figure out how to get rid of him…

Plan A

× Stop shaving your armpits. And your bikini line X Buy incontinence pads and leave them lying around

X Stop having sex with him.

Plan B

X Accidentally on purpose bump into his wife Sophie

X Give yourself a fake name and identity

x Befriend Sophie and actually begin to really like her

X.Snog Matthew’s son (who’s the same age as you by the way. You’re not a paedophile)

× Befriend Matthew’s children. Unsuccessfully

X Watch your whole plan go absolutely horribly wrong.

Getting Rid of Matthew isn’t as easy it seems, but along the way Helen will forge an unlikely friendship, find real love and realize that nothing ever goes exactly to plan